Dial the Gate

I seem to have "made friends" with some dumb ass on Tumblr.
I can't decide if they're just stupid or if they're mansplaining to me.

Checked in on Tumblr for the first time in almost a week only to find my ask full of anon hate.

I totally deserve it. I'm gonna keep publishing it when it comes in because I deserve to look at it and remember what a horrible person I am.

Renal appointment on the 9th. Maybe I'll stop taking my pills again after that. Speed this whole rejection/death thing up a little since I'm too much of a pussy to do it all at once.

You know what I miss?
I miss having talent.
I also miss having an OTP that made me want to write.

Fuck you, random follower of someone I follow. I really don't give a shit what you think about my reblog comments or that I offended your precious sensibilities. If the OP has a problem, they can come to me and we'll deal with it. If they can't be bothered, it must not be that important.

Go get your feathers ruffled elsewhere because I just Don't. Fucking. Care.

TeamCarter has better dubsmashes, but Team SHIELD has a better charity.
THAT'S about the only reason TeamCarter is losing.

Irony_Rocks reviewed 100 Things and asked for more and I am more than a little bit fangirling right now.

My mother's mind started to go when her vision got bad enough that she couldn't see the calendar to write on it any more. Once she didn't have to keep track of things or drive, I swear her IQ dropped 50 points.

As a result, I am more than ready to just go home. Fuck the rest of Sweden, Iceland and Toronto. I just want to go home.

I gladly played tour guide while they were in the UK, I even told them I would. I put up with date SANFUs, inability to stick to a schedule when it was something they didn't really care about and went out of my way to organize all the shit they wanted to do. I did this all because I was led to believe that I wouldn't have to do any of this in Sweden. Mom assured me she had Sweden under control and all would be fine.

Only I spent weeks oking and talking her through booking things in Sweden and then we got here and it turns out she only has things she wants to do and the vaguest of ideas about how to get to said things. As a result, I'm standing around with the shittiest of maps and my phone trying to figure out Stockholm. Meanwhile, dad is doing racist impressions, crossing streets without looking and generally doing whatever the hell he wants while mom is all "Let's ask someone!" every 25 seconds when I can't figure shit out fast enough because I'm keeping track of the two of them. Today, we literally wasted 2 hours walking around the city because because she can't read instructions, dad kept wandering off and the city layout is ridiculous in places.

Have I mentioned that she has to tell everyone she talks to about being here to visit relatives for the first time in 40 years? And the racist jokes/impressions? Yeah.

There's more stuff I want to see int he city, but at this point I'm thinking about just taking tomorrow off and not getting out of bed.

17 days to go.

And then I have to live in an 800square foot house with them again.
I may or may not just kill myself.

As always, I'm late the the fandom party, in this case, Agent Carter.
Also, as usual, the muse is late to the plot bunny party and has it's heart set on writing a plot that has been done numerous times and has been PWND by one particular author in the fandom.
Needless to say, I'm struggling.
And while I've struggled with writing before, I have to admit that it was not until all that shit went down in the Castle fandom that I really started to doubt my abilities as a writer. Now though, I'm REALLY struggling. I'm second guessing, procrastinating, worrying, underestimating myself. . . it's a mess. I'm at just over 11000 words and all I an think is "Well, that's a cliched cut" and "This story is dragging, isn't it? It is. I should do something about this. BUT WHAT?!?!?!?"
FUck.

I feel like my Peggy/Steve big bang is a steaming hot mess and I don't know what to do about it.

Agent Carter showrunner Michele Fazekas (@michelefazekas) sat at the SDCC panel and called Peggy Carter a whore (no, really) while Hayley Atwell sat next to her.

No, really.

Apparently it was "a joke"