It's all been done . . .
May. 30th, 2004 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cassievalentineSO, I babysat my ass off this week!
$20
$40
$20
$30
$16
$21.50
----------
$141.50
This should, I think, put me back up around $300 bucks in my account(?) Which I shall soon decimate to pay for student fees and, mopst likely, a history book I don't really want. I'm also going to blow probably around $30 at the theater on Friday since I'm taking a kiddlet to see PoA, the first show at 3:30 at Silver City. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE PEOPLE! Sooooooooooo excited. *Fangirl moment!!* SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111122222222!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways . . . . . As the title says, it's all been done. So, I'm gonna add to the masses of angsty!pity party!Hermione as stated in my default icon. I don't know why, I don't FEEL particularly angsty, but simons_flower powdered my ego by saying she liked the angsty!Harry thing last night, so, I dedicate to her, the first person since tome_raider left to stroke the ego, I love you two!
TitleOutcast
RaitingG
SpoilersHarry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone
SummaryI've never been popular, never had many friends, if any. I think people came to my birthday parties because it meant they'd get free junk food. That had to be it, seeing as how the number of children who kept comming year after year got smaller and smaller as word got around that my parents were dentists and didn't believe in all the sugary snacks. I held face though, because that's what I do. I press on. I throw myself into my studies or what ever else I'm working on, and try to squash the hurt that gets a little bigger ever day.
I've never been popular, never had many friends, if any. I think people came to my birthday parties because it meant they'd get free junk food. That had to be it, seeing as how the number of children who kept coming year after year got smaller and smaller as word got around that my parents were dentists and didn't believe in all the sugary snacks. I held face though, because that's what I do. I press on. I throw myself into my studies or what ever else I'm working on, and try to squash the hurt that gets a little bigger ever day.
The day I got my letter was strange. I was so thrilled to have learned that all the little things I couldn't explain now made sense. I was also a little worried that maybe this was why I had no friends. Maybe they had all known and I had been oblivious to this whole magic thing. It was highly illogical and improbable, after all. Imagine, fairy tails and the like having some basis in fact! Maybe I wasn't as smart as my marks said I was, maybe it was all just the magic. That was something that I couldn't shake. I decided, right then and there, that I would learn everything I could about this new world before I even got there. Maybe I'd fit in if I did, maybe I wouldn't be such an outsider. Maybe, just maybe they'd look past the bushy hair and big teeth and see me. Just once.
I panicked when I ran into Harry Potter. I think it was mostly because he wasn't what I expected to find. From what I had read, I supposed that he was going to be this . . .well . . . I'm not really sure. Still a boy, of course, but not quite so . . .small. I rambled on, showed off by fixing his glasses and then insulted his friend, Ron Weasley. Great going Hermione. You only get one first impression you know . . . . .
"'It's LeviOHsa, not levioSAH.' Honestly, she's a nightmare! It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!"
Those words stung. The truth always hurts. I had, up to that point, honestly believed that I was making progress with social skills. I'd had conversations with several classmates out side of classes, helped several of them . . . and then Ron Weasley had to voice my deepest fears to all his mates.
Stupid git.
Who needs them anyways, I figured as I brushed past them and hurried on my way. I didn't need friends anyways, always a distraction from my studies. I continued this line of thought until I unexpectedly found myself in the girl lavatory, most fortunately all alone. I stood in the middle of the room for a long moment before everything came crashing down; the home sickness, the loneliness, the emptiness I felt inside. I hid in a stall when I felt the tears start and heard some one coming down the hallway. I didn't answer when they called my name and willed them to go away.
It was like my 7th birthday all over again when only Oliva Cornbee came to my party. The only girl in my entire form who was less popular than I was. I had proclaimed to my parents after that fiasco that I was now too old for children's birthday parties and a nice dinner with them was all I needed from now on. My mother had blinked at me a few times while my father tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted, thanking them when they agreed and headed up to my room. The house was quiet for a long time after that, but I didn't go back on my decision.
I sat in the stall for hours, crying myself out, trying to arrange all my thoughts in a logical order so I could work through them and finally gave up. After what seemed like hours, and probably was, my stomach got the best of me and drove me to leave, to seek something to eat. I didn't get very far before I saw the troll. Harry and Ron came in soon afterwards.
As we all stood catching our breaths after the troll had fallen, my brain immediately began trying to work out why they had come to my rescue. Were they looking for a challenge? Bragging rights? Something to hold over my head? Being a good friend came to mind last, as I watched them trying to work out an explanation for Professor McGonagall.
"It was my fault professor," I heard myself say before I could stop myself. Amazingly, I heard myself spout a very elegant lie about trying to take it down myself. I wouldn't have been surprised if the look on my face mirrored the one on hers after that little display.
We were cemented after that and it was an odd sensation. After having been the outcast for so long, it was strange to be on the inside looking out. I had friends, what I assumed and hoped were real friends.
Okay, so maybe not so angsty!Hermione. More reflective, now that I look on it.
$20
$40
$20
$30
$16
$21.50
----------
$141.50
This should, I think, put me back up around $300 bucks in my account(?) Which I shall soon decimate to pay for student fees and, mopst likely, a history book I don't really want. I'm also going to blow probably around $30 at the theater on Friday since I'm taking a kiddlet to see PoA, the first show at 3:30 at Silver City. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE PEOPLE! Sooooooooooo excited. *Fangirl moment!!* SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111122222222!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways . . . . . As the title says, it's all been done. So, I'm gonna add to the masses of angsty!pity party!Hermione as stated in my default icon. I don't know why, I don't FEEL particularly angsty, but simons_flower powdered my ego by saying she liked the angsty!Harry thing last night, so, I dedicate to her, the first person since tome_raider left to stroke the ego, I love you two!
TitleOutcast
RaitingG
SpoilersHarry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone
SummaryI've never been popular, never had many friends, if any. I think people came to my birthday parties because it meant they'd get free junk food. That had to be it, seeing as how the number of children who kept comming year after year got smaller and smaller as word got around that my parents were dentists and didn't believe in all the sugary snacks. I held face though, because that's what I do. I press on. I throw myself into my studies or what ever else I'm working on, and try to squash the hurt that gets a little bigger ever day.
I've never been popular, never had many friends, if any. I think people came to my birthday parties because it meant they'd get free junk food. That had to be it, seeing as how the number of children who kept coming year after year got smaller and smaller as word got around that my parents were dentists and didn't believe in all the sugary snacks. I held face though, because that's what I do. I press on. I throw myself into my studies or what ever else I'm working on, and try to squash the hurt that gets a little bigger ever day.
The day I got my letter was strange. I was so thrilled to have learned that all the little things I couldn't explain now made sense. I was also a little worried that maybe this was why I had no friends. Maybe they had all known and I had been oblivious to this whole magic thing. It was highly illogical and improbable, after all. Imagine, fairy tails and the like having some basis in fact! Maybe I wasn't as smart as my marks said I was, maybe it was all just the magic. That was something that I couldn't shake. I decided, right then and there, that I would learn everything I could about this new world before I even got there. Maybe I'd fit in if I did, maybe I wouldn't be such an outsider. Maybe, just maybe they'd look past the bushy hair and big teeth and see me. Just once.
I panicked when I ran into Harry Potter. I think it was mostly because he wasn't what I expected to find. From what I had read, I supposed that he was going to be this . . .well . . . I'm not really sure. Still a boy, of course, but not quite so . . .small. I rambled on, showed off by fixing his glasses and then insulted his friend, Ron Weasley. Great going Hermione. You only get one first impression you know . . . . .
"'It's LeviOHsa, not levioSAH.' Honestly, she's a nightmare! It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!"
Those words stung. The truth always hurts. I had, up to that point, honestly believed that I was making progress with social skills. I'd had conversations with several classmates out side of classes, helped several of them . . . and then Ron Weasley had to voice my deepest fears to all his mates.
Stupid git.
Who needs them anyways, I figured as I brushed past them and hurried on my way. I didn't need friends anyways, always a distraction from my studies. I continued this line of thought until I unexpectedly found myself in the girl lavatory, most fortunately all alone. I stood in the middle of the room for a long moment before everything came crashing down; the home sickness, the loneliness, the emptiness I felt inside. I hid in a stall when I felt the tears start and heard some one coming down the hallway. I didn't answer when they called my name and willed them to go away.
It was like my 7th birthday all over again when only Oliva Cornbee came to my party. The only girl in my entire form who was less popular than I was. I had proclaimed to my parents after that fiasco that I was now too old for children's birthday parties and a nice dinner with them was all I needed from now on. My mother had blinked at me a few times while my father tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted, thanking them when they agreed and headed up to my room. The house was quiet for a long time after that, but I didn't go back on my decision.
I sat in the stall for hours, crying myself out, trying to arrange all my thoughts in a logical order so I could work through them and finally gave up. After what seemed like hours, and probably was, my stomach got the best of me and drove me to leave, to seek something to eat. I didn't get very far before I saw the troll. Harry and Ron came in soon afterwards.
As we all stood catching our breaths after the troll had fallen, my brain immediately began trying to work out why they had come to my rescue. Were they looking for a challenge? Bragging rights? Something to hold over my head? Being a good friend came to mind last, as I watched them trying to work out an explanation for Professor McGonagall.
"It was my fault professor," I heard myself say before I could stop myself. Amazingly, I heard myself spout a very elegant lie about trying to take it down myself. I wouldn't have been surprised if the look on my face mirrored the one on hers after that little display.
We were cemented after that and it was an odd sensation. After having been the outcast for so long, it was strange to be on the inside looking out. I had friends, what I assumed and hoped were real friends.
Okay, so maybe not so angsty!Hermione. More reflective, now that I look on it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-04 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-05 09:10 am (UTC)